Resources

Adoption/Mental Health Resources

Adoption & Foster Care Policy Resources/Advocacy

Favorite Kids Books

  • Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You – I love this gorgeous, reassuring book.
  • Have You Filled A Bucket Today: A Guide For Daily Happiness For Kids – I love this book, because it allowed my kids and me to have a common vocabulary about actions that hurt or help. If I said “Are you filling your bucket with what you just said/did?” they would instantly understand what I was talking about and could stop and reconsider their actions. It’s also a great way to compliment a positive action, because I could say “Wow, you really filled that person’s bucket!”
  • The Seven Habits Of Happy Kids
  • March: Book One – I bought this for my kids at the Newseum, and it’s making the rounds. Great, authentic, accessible way to learn about the Civil Rights movement from one of its leaders.

Marriage & Relationship Resources

It turns out marriage is hard, especially when you enter it the first time at 41-years-old and bring three traumatized children with you. My husband and I have unfortunately ended our three-year marriage, but we did our very best to make it work. The divorce rate of people who adopt is much higher than the already high rate of the general population. We had a tremendous marriage counselor, and I recommend you find one who only does marriage counseling. It’s a specialty like everything else. Here are some resources that benefited my former husband and I. If you have others to recommend, please let me know.

Miscellaneous “Make Your Life Easier” Resources

Miscellaneous Parenting Resources

Miscellaneous Life Changing Authors

  • Brene Brown – I began reading Brene Brown’s books, because of her shame research and ended up learning more about myself than I did about my kids. I love The Gifts of Imperfection so much I keep giving it to friends.
  • Pema Chodron – I’ve read Pema Chodron’s books for 10+ years, and I find something new every time I pick one up. My copies are much highlighted, underlined, and starred. And, dogeared.

Race Resources

Resources for Educators

I am very thankful for the many educators who have very patiently listened when I explained my kids’ unique needs. I’m even more thankful for the teachers who told me midway through the year that they thought I was nuts when I described my kids’ manipulative behavior but had finally seen what I’d been describing! Here are the few resources I’ve found for helping traumatized kids in the classroom. I hope it grows over time, because as we ask more and more of our teachers,  this is becoming one of our country’s biggest issues. I’m especially intrigued by the implementation of Restorative Justice in major school districts, and the drastic reduction in suspensions those districts have seen.

Sexual Abuse Resources

I literally know of no foster child who has not been sexually abused. Rape of a child is about power, not about sex, so I invite you to throw away any assumptions you have about sex as you consider the effects of childhood sexual abuse. Children who have been sexually abused will act out in many ways with other kids of either gender, with adults of either gender, and with animals. Though this is disturbing, to say the least, please behave calmly and with compassion if you learn that children in your life have been sexually abused. Also, ensure that you are taking care of yourself as well, because managing children who are acting out is traumatic for adults.  Here are a few resources. Sadly, though there are many men in this world who have been sexually abused, it’s not discussed as openly and I’ve not found resources for men that I’ve read and can recommend. If you have resources for boys/men that you would recommend, please e-mail me at shelley.cadamy@gmail.com.

Great Adoption/Attachment Stories/Blogs

 

Know of a great resource I should add to this list? Please email me at shelley.cadamy@gmail.com.

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