Uncategorized – Badassamys: Tales of the World's Most Badass Family

Whack-A-Mole

Rule #17 in raising traumatized children is that they will hit you when you’re already down, like the second anniversary of your mother’s death, for example. That combined with teenagers’ complete lack of frontal lobe development are the chief ways in which God punks us. First, it’s important to not blame my kids for anythingContinue reading “Whack-A-Mole”

Original Sin

Last night I attended a lecture by Ben Crump, the civil rights attorney who has worked with the families of many dead black boys and men. He was covering all the statistics I’d heard on the over-representation of black men and boys in our criminal justice system. And then he segued into how over-represented blackContinue reading “Original Sin”

Men

When I completed my paperwork to become a foster parent, I signed up for two girls, between the ages of 4 and 10. I was single with a fairly demanding career, so I didn’t want babies and I didn’t want teenagers. I was pretty ignorant, but I was at least savvy enough to know that.Continue reading “Men”

Ten Year Testimony

Originally posted on Life: Part 2:
My name is Chelsea Levo Feary.? I am a recovering alcoholic. ?On September 21, 2019, I am celebrating ten years of sobriety and this is my testimony. Everyone’s story has a beginning and that is where I will start.? I was born on September 29, 1975, to Michele (Mickie) and…

Condensed

September 22, 2010 I stood outside the Oklahoma County Juvenile Center and took photos with my three kids, who had just officially become my three kids. The girls are in dresses, and my son is in his best t-shirt, and my mom, who is now beyond the pale, is the one taking the photo. Afterwards,Continue reading “Condensed”

Extractions, exploitation, destruction: How state-sanctioned disenfranchisement stunted Black wealth acquisition (Part 1 of 3)

When I write about how important systems have been created from the ground up in ways that restrict opportunity for people of color, this is what I mean. Thanks to my friend, Mana Tahaie, for this excellent explanation and history of my home, Tulsa, Oklahoma. This is the first of three installments.

Pivot

Friends, this blog has been basically dormant for a couple of years, for lots of reasons. Our family has changed – my kids have gotten older, and as they have their privacy is more important. That’s the line that I thoughtfully and intentionally crossed when I started this blog many years ago – I gaveContinue reading “Pivot”

Myth-Busting Adoption Insights

November is national adoption month. Here are my tremendous (j/k) myth-busting insights about adoption. Adoptive parent friends, feel free to add your insights in the comments! My kids are not “lucky” to be adopted. I am fortunate, to be their mother, but no one in our scenario is lucky. They’ve been through hell and backContinue reading “Myth-Busting Adoption Insights”

Advocacy

Thanks to Facebook, I was reminded this morning that one year ago I was court-ordered to stop talking about my oldest daughter completely, much less her situation and needs, or risk numerous consequences including jail time and losing my parental rights (i.e. I would no longer be a parent to my children). So, today seemsContinue reading “Advocacy”

White Women

I’m part of a great group of women who are mothers to black boys. Some of those women are, like me, white. During a candid discussion (the best kind) about ways in which we would keep our kids safe, one of the black moms wrote that she warns her black sons about being careful aroundContinue reading “White Women”