ReMoved

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UPDATE: The makers of this lovely film are making Removed Part Two and need your help in getting it funded. Please view, donate & share!

I woke up this morning to this lovely short film in my inbox. A sweet friend, who has devoted her professional life to therapeutic foster care issues, sent it along with the words, “Shelley: for those days you wonder ‘why’.”

I’m unsure of how the makers of this film so completely understand the path of a foster child, but I suspect at least one of them has shared the path of this little girl. This film is especially poignant for me, because my children came to me one at a time, which will resonate once you’ve seen the film. Please view and share. My heart is full of tears and love for these artists.

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About cadamy

Foster/adoptive parent, Economic/Workforce Development professional, Oklahoman.

89 responses »

  1. This is a very powerful film. Thank you for sharing it.

    Reply
  2. I work with a group of therapists that provide trauma counseling services to fostered and foster to adopted children. Can we have permission to show this in therapy sessions, and to put on our website?

    Reply
  3. Thanks for sharing the film. Having been foster mom to more than 20 children and adopting 5 of them – this film is a great reminder of what our kids have been through and why they exhibit the behaviors we see so often.

    Reply
  4. This film did an amazing job of portraying foster children. It is easy to give up on a child, the real work is working through all the emotional turmoil and building trust. These poor children didn’t do anything and yet they keep getting their hearts and hopes crushed.

    Amazing work on the film!

    Reply
    • Thank you, Sabrina, but I didn’t create the film – I just shared it. Look up to view contact information for the creators. I’m sure they’d like to hear from you.

      Reply
  5. Reblogged this on Pastor Dave.

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  6. This was really done good. I think anyone who works in the foster care program needs to watch this film

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  7. This was excellent and heart breaking. Thank you for sharing.

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  8. Tears are running down my face as I watch this beautiful short film. So wonderfully real and true.

    Reply
  9. Pingback: ReMoved | Appreciating Life's Journeys

  10. It is a very good Video, but not sure why it just cuts off at the end. Both me and my hubby thought it was weird the way it ended.

    Reply
  11. This was powerful to me. My heart breaks for children like this. And yet I was one of two birth children in a family where my parents took in foster children and ended up adopting 8 of them. My sister and I were abused by these adopted and foster children in every way possible. So I have mixed feelings. I feel like a liason for birth children in a family where parents are hoping to foster and adopt. there is pain on both sides….

    Reply
  12. I’ve started a program in East Texas called Duffels for H.O.P.E. We provide bags for children entering (and moving within) the foster care system so they don’t have to put everything they own in a bag they know garbage belongs in. Find us on Facebook. Thank you for doing this video.

    Reply
    • I have found you, and I’ve liked your page. Thank you for what you do! My girls thankfully had a lovely foster family before me and came with tons of clothes and toys, but my son arrived with the clothes on his back and two left shoes in different sizes.

      Reply
    • I love that. I’m a social worker and the black trash bags is the saddest thing

      Reply
  13. Reblogged this on Borderline and commented:
    Wow. So amazing.

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  14. Reblogged this on Reflections of a Pastor Couple and commented:
    This is one of the hardest things I’ve watched in a long time. It’s also one of the most important.

    Reply
  15. It is truly heart breaking that some children should have to go through so much hurt in their young lives, My daughter Susan is a foster mum, I am so proud of her, and for all she has done for the little ones that were placed in her care, also I have a lot of respect for all the other foster mums, they are all special kind of people.

    Reply
    • Thank you for supporting your daughter! Not all family members are supportive of foster/adoption. Thankfully my mom is incredible. But I have friends whose parents were adamant that they were ruining their lives. Best to you.

      Reply
  16. Beautiful. From a foster mom with tears running down her face!

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  17. Wow … simply Wow. Beautifully full of hope =)

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  18. Reblogged this on winda amelia and commented:
    This movie can clearly describe the feeling as a child

    Reply
  19. Thank you so much for making and sharing this film. It’s exactly what my former foster care children/clients have tried to explain so many times…and it still brings tears. If the whole country could see it, priorities might change…

    Reply
  20. Pingback: ReMoved | •• RIGHTEOUS WILDFLOWER ••

  21. Reblogged this on •• RIGHTEOUS WILDFLOWER •• and commented:
    My Purpose in Life

    Reply
  22. My wife and I were foster parents for 25 years and had over 50 babies,we adopted four of them ,this clip definitely is extremely well done.But unfortunately,only those of us who are involved have any clue what its really like.I just hate seeing hurting people

    I have never done anything so rewarding,challenging or frustrating nor cried as much in my whole life as being a foster dad

    Reply
  23. Reblogged this on Foster Adoption Blog and commented:
    If you haven’t seen this, it’s worth the time to watch….

    Reply
  24. I was a foster child. I can’t believe how much this video touched me! It brought it all back yet made me feel better about what I have been through and how I survived. No one should give up on these kids, they are all important. And maybe if people see this they will understand, “why” I act the way I do some days. Thanks for this!! <3

    Reply
    • Thank you for sharing! I hope my children will one day understand that their experience is a gift. They have such a better perspective on what’s important in life than most 40-year-olds, and they can put that to use to make the world a better place. I know you never asked for the treatment you received, so I don’t mean to be glib. I just think the negative doesn’t have to define us. Best to you.

      Reply
      • Indeed! I am stronger for having been a foster child and though at times it was hard, I learned so much and in many ways and I am grateful! I wish there were more people like the last foster mom in the video, out there! Once again, amazing job, thank you thank you!

  25. Wow! This clip opened my eyes of the foster children all over, very deep and saddening, hurts my heart to see children go through this at young ages, i have 4 of my own and love my kids but wouldnt mind working on bringing foster children into my home but this will be a long process i still want to do

    Reply
  26. Reblogged this on Cook. Sew. Write. and commented:
    I’ve known a few people, including some very close to me, that have taken on the responsibility to care for kids that are not their own. And I’ve seen more than one outcome for those kids. Thankfully, most were positive, but definitely not without their fare share of negative. This short film gave me an insight into what they might have experienced behind closed doors. I am lucky, that even though I’m from a broken home, it was not one without tons of love. Maybe a little confusion and unease while dealing with being shuffled back and forth between homes, or what to do when you parents both buy you the same present and worrying about hurting their feelings if you ask to return one. I know that sounds trivial, truly a first world problem if I’ve ever heard one, but it was a problem I faced more than once as a child. I dealt with jealousy of other kids whose families were still intact. But even with those issues, I always knew I was loved.

    My heart truly breaks for these kids. Since my son was born I’ve become ultra sensitive to issues dealing with kids being mistreated in any way. My favorite crime TV shows are no longer my favorites because it seemed that every episode consisted of a child be harmed or traumatized in some way, and I just can’t handle it anymore. Lately, my Facebook newsfeed has been bombarded with news stories being shared about horrendous acts of violence toward these innocent beings that deserve none of it. I see this and I’m immediately enraged and deeply conflicted that someone would share something so horrible. Enraged at the fact this heart shattering, gut wrenching news headline was thrown into my view and not by my own choice. Enraged that they would give these people even more exposure, some of which crave and feed on the attention of their sick and twisted actions that, most likely, spurs from a damaged childhood of their own. Deeply conflicted between the latter and the understanding that these tiny, innocent voices need to be heard, and helped. Learning of those stories and knowing that the damage to those kids has been done made me feel helpless. It makes you worry for your own kids. It pissed me off.

    I apologize, this was meant to be a simple reblog. But it seems that this topic has dredged up some feelings and thoughts that I’ve kept bottled up. I’ve ultimately decided that I can’t shelter myself from these things by shoving my head in sand, I have to face them. I can’t do much for these kids. I’m not rich enough, nor am I empowered with the therapeutic skills to help them with their trauma. But the least I can do is share this video which tells their story while their lives remain private.

    Reply
  27. Oh my God can soo relate to her, CPS wasn’t around yet so I was sent to different aunts and uncles. Later I lost ( Gave ) because of bad choices CPS removed my 9 children. They were in more than 20 foster homes over 13 years. Not everyone who works for the Dept. CPS are there by their compassion. I have even had foster parent refer to my children as Tax Exemptions :( I clung to God because I had no one in my corner, I finished all parenting classes went back to school, got and kept my job and permanent housing all to no avail. I am currently going to court my baby is 17 have not seen her in 4 yrs. Two of my daughters were sexually abused, two are cutters, and EMO’s Two had children in Foster care. The stories my children could tell would make you literally sick. My God is faithful and we ALL will answer for our sins. I have prayed He is merciful and forging of them. God Bless you, may the work you continue to do be Blessed.

    Reply
    • Ms. Rubio, thank you for sharing. Your story is powerful. I always hoped that my children would be reunited with their biological parents, but their biological parents just didn’t have the resources to overcome their own hurdles. Kudos to you for finishing parenting classes, obtaining housing and a job. And, I assure you, foster parents are as aware of some workers’ lack of compassion as the biological parents are, unfortunately. I’m sorry for your experience. May I ask in what country/state you live?

      Reply
  28. Pingback: ReMoved: Sad, but all too common saga of hurting children. | Gerda Peachey's Views

  29. My sister and I are spear heading a local awareness campaign for foster home recruitment. I’ve held little girls and told them they would see there brothers and wondered if it was a lie. I’ve told little boys there mommies love them, even though mom is looking at life in prison. I held my now adopted brother at a day old after his mother was taken to rehab. The need is so huge, all they need is love. It’s in our copacity too. This film was wonderful and as a college age guy I’m proud to say tears streamed down my face. Thank you to those that made it.

    Reply
    • Thank you for your efforts, Nick. Though it’s well intentioned, the “all they need is love” comment is a serious understatement that gets a lot of people into trouble. I learned the hard way that I was smothering my kids with my caring. Until they’re stabilized and can begin to love themselves, love from others is overwhelming. I know that’s counter-intuitive, which makes things really, really difficult.

      Reply
  30. We are foster parents in the process of adopting. Ever foster/ adoptive parent should see this. We were impressed. It was very real and accurate. It served as a reminder of our sons path and pain. The mother running toward the Dad rather than daughter. The visits, the case worker in and out of the car. The ” trigger” of the dress. The concern about the sibling, the fear at the front door. All very real to us. This is very well done.

    Reply
  31. very inspiring and sad story. This is truly happening everyday in Uganda. I saw on the new a five year old girl taking care of a four month old brother in one of the IDP camps in Uganda. God help such children and to all people out there, reach out your hand to help such children because it all not their fault; not at all.

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  32. You are a remarkable woman. Glad to have you on board with my blog. I am honored to know you. Meghan

    Reply
  33. Pingback: Fosterbarn… | enannenvei

  34. Pingback: Fosterbarn.. | enannenvei

  35. This is my post from FB when I shared the video:

    Watching the short film Removed written by Christina Matanick was probably the most difficult thing I have done in some time. It is very heart-wrenching, touching, emotional and true all at the same time. Finally, someone has truly portrayed the truth of a foster child. Most do not understand “why” I hope that this opens a few eyes.

    I felt like I was watching a movie about my life. This was me from age 4-15, being moved around from home to home; 15 to be exact. You never know why you are being moved, but of course you always think it’s because of you. “Was I not good enough?” “Did I do something wrong?”

    All I wanted to do was take care of my little brother. I didn’t care what happened to me. I tried so hard to protect him, but being separated from him many times it was very difficult to do. How can you protect a sibling when you can barely protect yourself?

    I know what it feels like to have to fill that trash bag with your ‘stuff’, and trust me, it was never much.

    Unfortunately I did not have all loving sweet foster parents, only a few. Most of the homes there was mental, physical or sexual abuse (or all of them) in the home. Either by the parents, the other foster children or their own children.

    One thing that I wish adults, who come in contact with a foster child knew, was their background. Like most teachers- they judged. That is not fair to the child. I always got told, “Had I not been told, I would have never guessed you were a foster child”

    You get to the point where you can’t be hurt anymore. Numb is all you feel, because if you’re not then it lessens the chance you will get hurt again. I had foster families want to adopt me, I was very thankful that I finally had a case worker that actually listened to what I had to say about the family.

    The hardest thing to come to terms with, No it is not your fault. When you finally do there is so much more peace with in.

    Reply
  36. Reblogged this on Onemunchingmomma. Definitely a must see!

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  37. Reblogged this on 1munchingmomma and commented:
    I came across this video on my Facebook page. I went past the link once, then twice. On the third time, I stopped and clicked on the video link. I am so glad I did!
    Having worked with troubled teens for a few years, this video resonated with the issues we faced many times, day in and day out. It was so easy to get caught up in the frustration over the behavior, but how much these children need people in their lives who can see the pain inside!

    Reply
  38. Speechless…

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  39. I’m very encouraged about short vid’s like this one and thank you, Shelley, for posting it. It was quite painful for me to watch, because when I was a child I lived what the video depicts, minus being ‘removed’ because there was no one there to ‘remove’ me. That said, I am so very glad there is better awareness today as well as many, many fost/adopt parents, making intervention possible.

    I also want to say Thank You to all foster care moms and dads, who give kids in crisis homes which are non violent and where there is love, acceptance, peace and safety. May God BLESS YOU in every way, for all your sacrifice and love, for children not your own. You do more good than you possibly know !!!

    Reply
  40. POWERFUL, Hard Hitting short film… Congratulations!!!

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  41. Beautiful message. Great film.

    Reply
  42. Pingback: ReMoved | Beautiful Intellect

  43. Reminds me of being in the system..
    Talk about a flashback.

    Reply
  44. Reblogged this on Perchance to Dream and commented:
    THIS is why I will continue to get well.
    THIS is why I will live, so that no child that is put in my care will have to live like this.

    I will live life well so I can help others do the same.

    I can’t wait to be a foster parent.

    Reply
  45. Funny that I stumbled across this video and your blog tonight. As a foster mum I have just had to comfort a young boy in tears who is confused and wondering why he has been removed from his home. Its totally gut wrenching at such times when there really isn’t anything you can say that will comfort them, you just have to distract them from their concerns. There are days where as a carer you do wonder why even though you know the statistics and trauma these children are going through.

    It doesn’t matter how old the child is or what abuse or neglect they have endured the scars will remain with them in some way for life. Love truly is the greatest gift anyone can give and these children need it more than ever. Thank you Shelley for sharing this video and the work you are doing in raising awareness about fostering and children’s mental health. I agree things do need to change.

    Hopefully this video will inspire action even in the smallest of ways! I particularly hope it reaches those who are oblivious to what goes on beyond their own walls and those who do see it but choose not to act in the child’s best interests.

    Reply
  46. Pingback: ReMoved | nidhirajain

  47. This touched my heart in a way that nothing else ever could. It titally changed the way I look at people. It taught me to listen .with my whole being to another person’s story and understand that there are reasons people act the way they do. The only answer to it all is unconditional love. It is the only medicine, the only cure .

    Reply
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  49. Candace Sereno

    Crushing

    Reply
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  51. Reblogged this on Writings of a Mrs and commented:
    Please watch this video!

    Reply
  52. Amazing. Such a beautiful and apt video. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  53. Reblogged this on Beginner at life and commented:
    This is my motivation. Why I chose to better myself so that I can continue to service children in the system.

    Reply
  54. Wow.
    Being a foster Carer myself, and coming from a troubled childhoodI can totally relate to this girl’s torment and disbelief in life, and herself!
    Very powerful film

    Graham
    Foster Carer
    Scotland

    Reply
  55. This video touched my heart so much. I had Foster Children to many years and I still feel like Foster Care was the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.Thank You to all who find room in their Hearts and Homes for this extremely needed service to our abused and or neglected children.

    Reply
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  57. Pingback: Removed Part Two | Shelley Cadamy

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